Come and gone

Another Walk to Remember has come and gone and this is the first time I have been able to sit and write a word or two. It was a blustery day filled with less people than I expected. In greeting my fellow journeyers and others I learned Anna would not be there. Like an arrow through my heart the pain shot - how could I speak without Anna?
Anna was my lifeline and while in reality I would have had to get through my grief eventually, I know my journey would have been different without her. She provided the unconditional support. She was there morning, noon and night through my grief and subsequent pregnancies. I owe so much to her for returning me to some semblance of a life.
And now she would not be at the event, our Walk to Remember, and I was crushed.

***

On the heels of the Walk was the anniversary of Baby Z. I don't really know when I lost him, but 10/23/00 is the day I mark since it is the day of the D&C to remove what might have been from me. I was so busy I didn't even get to light a candle. But I was busy with the blessings that he paved the way for.