Today is 7 years since I lost Solomon. I cannot believe it. I woke up this morning and hugged Adam as tightly as I could. I gave Alison extra kisses goodbye at the bus stop.
I have the 7-year itch. I will always have a dormant longing for Solomon. I long to know so much. Would his eyes have been blue like my daughter's or brown like my son's? Would the weight of his body as he was nursing felt skinny like Adam or bulky like Alison? Would he have walked late, talked early, liked peas or apples. Things I will never know in this lifetime.
Today is the only day each year I allow myself to ask "why?" Why did this happen to me? I don't wallow anymore...the "why" is more of a curiousity in my life, a question that will never be answered. And even if it was, what difference would it make? Solomon is the emptiness in my heart that will always be there.
"The birth of a child isn't always a nine-month process."
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About Me
- Amy
- My children are wonderful but who knew how challenging life would become. I am dumbfounded sometimes that they came from me. They have enriched my life exponentially to degrees of joy I never knew were possible.
1 comment:
Bless your family. I cannot even imagine what you must be feeling each and every day. Even if it has been 7 years, the wounds never quite heal. I have one daughter and will be attempting a VBAC this summer. I worry every day about the health and safety of my unborn child as well as my own. My thoughts are with you.
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