Monday, July 21, 2014

Ali paying it forward

My previous post was brief, about Ali's bat mitzvah.  As part of her on-going desire to 'pay it forward' she has started an online fundraising campaign.  She will match the total she is hoping to raise here:
Ali's Art Supply Drive

The plan is purchase supplies for summer 2015 for North Shore Holiday House Camp.  Please consider making a donation, every little bit count.  For more information on North Shore Holiday House Camp please check out North Shore Holiday House

Sunday, June 22, 2014

Alison Bat Mitzvah

On Friday June 20, 2014 Alison became a Bat Mitzvah.  For months, weeks and days I've worked on planning the party while she worked on learning her Torah portion. The whole process of planning was very emotional.  I cried almost every day while putting together her video montage.  Then I cried during the service, more tears of joy than sorrow.  How did the time fly by so quickly?

And it occurred to me a few times I should have been working on a Bar Mitzvah last year. I prayed to Solomon to just watch over her, and I think sometimes he does.

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Return to Zero

Please tune in and watch Return to Zero on Lifetime on May 17, 2014.
Cover Photo

Return to Zero

Thursday, May 01, 2014

Margery in Israel

Bittersweet feelings just now.  A comrade posted a photo of herself on the Mount of Olives overlooking Jerusalem.  She looks beautiful and the sun is shining over the valley.

I'm so happy for her!!!  I'm so happy I also got to stand where she is standing, and see the wonder of Israel for myself.

Not so happy when I remember I was pregnant with Solomon while I was there, although I didn't know it at the time.  Sigh.

Friday, March 07, 2014

Nothingness

March 7, 2000 was the day of nothingness.  There really is no other word to describe the feeling.  It would be my second full day in the hospital.  It was a day of waiting.  People were celebrating Mardi Gras.  Eric never left my side. 

From what I can recall, I had visitors: my mom and dad, my grandma and my friend Terry.  The only image that erases the fraught look Terry had visiting me that day is the look on her face when she held Alison for the first time seventeen months later.

My grandmother sat quietly in the chair near my window.  She was resigned to my fate.  I probably was too.  There were so many mixed emotions.  While I prayed for a miracle, I also prayed for this trauma to be over.  I could not foresee what tumult the next day would bring for me, Eric and our marriage.

This day of nothingness also brought a Rabbi, upon my request, to my side.  I wish today I could recall his words and I'm sure somewhere else I've written about them.  They will probably come back to me when I least expect them to.

Some days are harder than others.

Tuesday, March 04, 2014

March 4, 2000 My last, best day

Fourteen years ago was my last, best day.  I don't mean I haven't had best days since, I certainly have.  The live births of my two children Alison and Adam were the miracles that brought me back to life.

But fourteen years ago today, Eric and I went to lunch to celebrate my grandmother's birthday. We went to Patrick's Pub on Northern Boulevard in Little Neck, NY.  I had quiche.  I was very cranky that day.  Could something deep down in my psyche known how my life would begin to unravel the very next day?

Fourteen years ago today was the last day I would have ever not worry incessantly about what could happen in life.  And while the worry doesn't stop me from living my life, it is always present right below the surface of my mind.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

October 15: National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remebrance Day

Feeling it today.  Actually was feeling it the other day.  We're invited to a friend's son's Bar Mitzvah next month.  Another friend had her son's bar mitzvah a few months ago.  This was supposed to be the year of Solomon's bar mitzvah, he was supposed to be friends with these two boys.  According to Eric, he is an angel on their shoulders.  Very surprised Eric would say something like this - I hope it's true.