Wednesday, July 28, 2010

The Empire State Building

It almost escaped me that today is 'that day' or it used to be what I considered 'that day.' July 28, 2000 is the day I was supposed to give birth to my first beautiful child. But it was not to be how I planned.

I didn't even realize the date until I was in the checkout line at King Kullen this morning. And it would have escaped my psyche altogether if the cashier hadn't handed me back a coupon with an expiration date of yesterday, July 27, 2010. That's when I realized today was 'that day.' Or not.

For years this date held as much significance to me as any other, and those who know me know I keep a mental calendar and can usually recall dates to various events in life, mine and theirs.

July 28 used to stand out in my mind like the Empire State Building, towering over so many of the other dates. But now, ten years later, it's supplanted by far more wonderful dates: Alison's and Adam's birthdates are now the Empire State Buildings in my mental calendar. My joy at having them eclipses this date. I don't feel the grief of this day so strongly any more. I actually feel at peace, for today.