My stepson has a family heritage project to do, and he, his mother, my husband and myself hope to get a good grade on it. The project has many pieces, and trying to figure out what's appropriate in a divorce/stepfamily situation has proven easier than it would appear.
One of the pieces to be constructed is a poster of the family tree. The sheet we are using as a guideline stops at my stepson, in which case it does not include myself or the children I have with my husband who are my stepson's half-siblings. No big deal really. But my stepson's mother, who is doing the poster, not only has generously include myself and my children, she sent me an email asking how to acknowledge Solomon. I was both shocked and touched.
At the time of my loss I was convinced she did not understand. And to be honest, I don't know for sure that at the time she did. But today is a new day and she 'gets' it. As I'm not comfortable sharing Solomon's picture, we agreed to use a charm that depicts a little boy, similar to the one I was given by my husband for my first mothers day. When I say first, I do mean first: immediately after we lost Solomon. I was a mother, a childless one, but still a mother.
So a photo of a charm depicting my little boy will be mounted on the poster along with pictures of myself, daughter and son. I'm thrilled.