Well, it still sucks. At least I have given up thinking it won't ever won't.
Today was A Walk to Remember. I didn't walk. I attended the memorial part of the service. I kissed Solomon's quilt square and his scrapbook page. And as I stood trying to shelter my candle in the wind, I kept thinking, "my baby died and all I got was this stupid candle." I don't mean to sound cruel, but it just still sucks.
When asked if anyone wanted to speak, I did not go up. I am further down the road of needing to speak about my son and my journey. What I really wanted to do was speak about Tyler Clementi, an 18 year old Rutgers University Student who took his life a few days ago because of the cruelty of others. Tyler was someone's child too. No one should ever have to bury a child.