I thought losing Solomon would protect me from other ills. I thought he was the 'loss leader' - that by losing him I would have no more sadness. Needless to say I'm wrong.
Without going into details I find myself faced with increasing sadness of an inevitability. And it angers me. And it scares me to be angry again. Anger is the hardest emotion for me to let go of. It is not appeased by food or drink or shopping or exercise. There is no antidote to anger the way crying is to sadness.
So now I face myself struggling to keep the lid on my anger when all I really want to do is scream.