Thursday, December 31, 2015


Eric shared an email with me just the other day.  An older couple from our Temple wrote to the Executive Board about the loss of their grand-daughter at 34 weeks.  They knew the child would not live earlier in their daughter's pregnancy.

As I read the email, I could feel another piece of my heart breaking off and drifting away - for their pain and suffering, and for mine.  The odd thing is, I was also feeling envious.  Solomon did not make it to 34 weeks and I did not get to have him in any physical way outside my body.  My thoughts were how lucky this family was to be able to see this child and to hold this child while I was not able to.

In the end a loss is a loss and hopefully Eric and I will be able to offer support when needed.

Wednesday, December 30, 2015

My birthday

I turned 50 last week. Hard to imagine.  When I lost Solomon I was 34.  So much has happened in life.  Lately I've been praying to him a lot for what weighs heaviest on my mind.  I do wonder if his spirit can hear me and is aware of my life. I hope I'm forgiven for losing him when I did everything I could to save him.