Friday, October 26, 2012


There ought to be a warning on all movices or TV programs where a baby dies or a woman miscarries or delivers a stillborn. Eric and I watched the movie "Perfect Family" with Kathleen Turner and her daughter is pregnant and loses the baby midway through.

And let's not mention every other drama on TV - it's enough.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Graduation Day

So many of my friends children are graduating 6th grade today. I am missing Solomon so much. Every time I see someone's post on Facebook, and there are tons as I was pregnant with so many other gals, tears well up in my eyes.

Friday, April 27, 2012

Waiting for Baby

Waiting for baby, 8 months along - with a mystery baby who would be born not too long afterwards.

Surprising Moment

So I am gainfully employed for a bit, part-time and temporary through mid-August. I like my work, the environment, my co-workers and especially my supervisor whom I call "boss lady." This woman really could have been a grief counselor as she is a really great teacher, patient and calm, and an overall wonderful person.

I am at work and reviewing some forms...hey it's not too exciting but it's my job. And I see the name of a child. This child is a girl, this child is in 6th grade in our school District and I know this child's mom from my former life - the one 'before' - the one where I also worked but the one where people knew me 'before' I lost Solomon.

As soon as I see this child's name my heart skips a beat. I remember when this child was born, a few weeks after Solomon. I remember thinking how this child and Solomon would be in school together because this child's mom was one of the many whom I knew was pregnant with me. Then the obvious comes to the surface, no, Solomon will never be in school.

I had to stop what I was doing and just remind myself to breath. It was harder than I thought but I managed to get through the moment. But still I just wish sometimes there weren't moments I had to get through in the first place. You know?

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Always a bridesmaid...

Today the Certificate of Stillbirth applications are available.  This was a long road for so many and I am happy for those who will be able to obtain one.  Sadly, it is not looking likely that I will.  Because I was not at that magical "20 week" mark, and only a mere 19 weeks 6 days, Solomon was not turned over to a funeral director for burial.  The application asks for this information.  Yet again my experience going through childbirth is not acknowledged.

Regardless, here are two sites you can obtain the information from:

Good luck.